what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
