So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
