Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I have demons in me.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
