I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
