I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
