and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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