he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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