I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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