You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
