Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
