never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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