Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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