yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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