Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
