last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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