Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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