i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
