yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
