NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
