I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
