yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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