I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
