I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
