If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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