I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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