Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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