I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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