the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
