Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
