I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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