honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
