Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
