like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
