Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
