I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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