just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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