Her vagina should come with caution tape.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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