I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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