I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
