I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
