But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Randomize
