I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
