I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
