if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
