she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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