At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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