They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
