i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
