I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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