The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
