I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
