I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
