please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
organizing the empties. That sober.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
